Words Conveying Positive Strokes [March 01 2017]

According to TA a Stroke can be defined as "one unit of recognition". When I say "Hello!" to you, I give you a stroke. Strokes can be positive or negative, verbal and non-verbal, conditional or unconditional. In this post I will write about positive verbal strokes and give you examples of words you can use in your everyday conversations to create more positive and constructive results.

To read more about Strokes, please CLICK HERE.

Let us take an example from a business environment. Chances are that time after time you are surrounded by colleagues, stakeholders or customers that might be upset or stressed out. You might feel being invited by their words and behavior to join a negative conversational loop. But you can decide to be kind to them and use positive words and phrases (i.e. positive verbal Strokes) in the transactions with them.

Below you can see a negative example. You and your colleague are going to a customer. He asked you to copy a report but it slipped your mind so you did not do it. When he realizes it, this is what might happen:

Remember, you always have a choice to pick a different verbal response. The example below shows an alternative way. I am not saying that this is the best way to solve this problem but it is clear that it can lead to a more constructive solution than the previous transaction.

"I'll find a solution" is conveying a positive, constructive, solution-focused message. You can tell it to a four year old child who has just lost a toy or to a frustrated CEO who is not satisfied with the current situation - it will give more positive power to your communication.

Let me give you 180 phrases and words you can implement into your everyday vocabulary when talking about yourself, your colleagues or solutions. During the next week make sure you use each of them at least once in your spoken and/or written conversations. Print them out and mark them with a highlighter after you have used them. Then every time you say or write a negative word catch yourself doing so and replace them with a positive word from the list. Finally you can add more an more positive words to your list and do the same exercises with them. Your communication quality will change significantly in weeks. You will have more satisfying conversations and happier relationships. You betcha!

Here is the list:

(1) amazing, (2) aware, (3) awesome, (4) beautiful, (5) best, (6) bright, (7) brilliant, (8) calm, (9) capable, (10) certain, (11) charming, (12) clear, (13) clever, (14) competent, (15) complete, (16) confident, (17) convenient, (18) creative, (19) delicious, (20) delightful, (21) diligent, (22) dynamic, (23) eager, (24) easy, (25) effective, (26) effortless, (27) elegant, (28) energetic, (29) engaging, (30) enthusiastic, (31) excellent, (32) exceptional, (33) exciting, (34) experienced, (35) exploring, (36) fabulous, (37) fair, (38) fantastic, (39) fascinating, (40) fine, (41) flourishing, (42) flowing, (43) fortunate, (44) free, (45) friendly, (46) fulfilled, (47) fun, (48) generous, (49) genuine, (50) gifted, (51) glorious, (52) good-looking, (53) gorgeous, (54) gracious, (55) grateful, (56) great, (57) growing, (58) happy, (59) harmonious, (60) healthy, (61) helpful, (62) honest, (63) ideal, (64) impressive, (65) innovative, (66) inspired, (67) intelligent, (68) interesting, (69) intuitive, (70) inventive, (71) incredible, (72) inviting, (74) irresistible, (75) joyful, (76) juicy, (77) keen, (78) kind, (79) knowing, (80) light-hearted, (81) limitless, (82) lively, (83) lovely, (84) loving, (85) lucky, (86) magical, (87) magnificient, (88) marvellous, (89) mastreful, (90) mighty, (91) motivated, (92) natural, (93) nice, (94) nourishing, (95) nurturing, (96) noble, (97) open, (98) optimistic, (99) outstanding, (100) participating, (101) passionate, (102) peaceful, (103) perfect, (104) persistent, (105) playful, (106) pleasing, (107) plentiful, (108) positive, (109) powerful, (110) precious, (111) prepared, (112) productive, (113) profound, (114) prompt, (115) prosperous, (116) proud, (117) qualified, (118) quick, (119) radiant, (120) reasonable, (121) refreshing, (122) relaxing, (123) reliable, (124) remarkable, (125) respected, (126) results, (127) rewarding, (128) robust, (129) safe, (130) satisfied, (131) secure, (132) sensational, (133) sensitive, (134) sexy, (135) sharing, (136) skillful, (137) smart, (138) smooth, (139) special, (140) splendid, (141) strong, (142) stunning, (143) successful, (145) superb, (146) sweet, (147) swift, (148) talented, (149) terrific, (150) thankful, (152) thrilling, (153) thriving, (154) timely, (155) trusting, (156) truthful, (157) ultimate, (158) unique, (159) valuable, (160) versatile, (161) vibrant, (162) victorious, (163) vigorous, (164) vivid, (165) warm, (166) well, (167) whole, (168) wise, (169) wonderful, (170) worthwile, (171) youthful, (172) zeal, (173) zest, (174) My pleasure, (175) I'd be happy to, (176) Thanks for choosing us, (177) So cool, (178) Convenient for you, (179) That's admirable, (180) Completely agree

Finally, remember to maintain a congruent verbal-nonverbal alignment in your communication. When it's about overt and covert messages, it is always the covert level (i.e. the nonverbal or psychological level) that has a stronger impact on showing your attitude.

If you have any questions, comments or stories, share them with me via email. We can publish them here.

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by Bali Polyanki

office@nonverbalcommunicationcoach.com

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