DECEPTION - When others trick or deceive us

When someone is seeking to trick or deceive you, there are many different body signals they may use. You can become sensitive enough to detect them. Why is it possible? If they want to be an effective deceiver, they must handle a large amount of information in an effective manner. But when they cannot keep everything under control and you can find these areas. It can happen in person but in a written format too, as well as over the web. Have you seen this picture before?


We know that a deceptive body is concerned about being found out - and this concern may show. These messages and signals are being sent through the nonverbal communication channels, that might be unconscious to the deceiver. The language skills of deception can be improved by practice.

There are several factors here we can take into account. Below I will mention some areas related to the world of deception.

The first one I can mention is ANXIETY. Why is the deceptive person anxious? Because they don't want to be found out. These tension signals are sent by them and you can decode them if you know what to look for. Some examples: sweating, sudden movements, micro expressions (particularly around the eyes and mouth), changes in tone of voice and speed. These anxiety signals can be person specific that are hidden to them. For example someone always bites the inside of the mouth when becoming anxious. Others put their hands into their pockets. It is not easy to get rid of these behaviors. This coaching helps you identify them in yourself as well as in others. Look at his (unconscious) behavior:


The second area I want to mention is CONTROL. As they don't want to be caught, they tend to over-control various signs and messages their body is sending. A typical example is when they are trying to maintain a friendly attitude (i.e. smiling in a forced way) but somehow it seems quite asymmetric. Or they oscillate between open and closed body postures. One signal of control is when they put and keep their hands in their pockets. If they wish to stress something they do it with their vocal repertoire keeping their hands hidden. The whole body is not aligned during the communication.


The next one is DISTRACTION. Yes, they need time to think more about what they are doing. Therefore they might drift off, pause or hesitate in the conversations. Covering things up is a labour-consuming task that can distract them. And what can we see? We can see that their natural timing fails, they may over- or under-react to what is happening around them. Fidgeting, moving around the place or paying attention to unusual places can also be detected.


The next one is PERSUASION. They want to convince you instead if just conveying infromation during the conversation. If, for example, you asked your colleague to check something for you and now you meet him at his desk asking "Could you check it, Bill?" he answers "Look. We have so many things to do today and ..." he is convincing you, not answering (i.e. conveying information) to your question. Every time people start persuading when you are expecting them to convey information, you may want to think they are hiding something. Remember: when no information conveyed, your question has never been answered. Another example: "Did you break the printer?" "I would never apply that much force on such an expensive device." Well, again you did not get a "yes" or "no" answer. Why do we tend to believe these answers? Because convincing statements are so strong. The suggestion is powerful. But you can be open to the nonverbal clusters - when more signals and messages gravitate to the same direction. You may see a nodding head in the beginning that finally turns into a shaking. Watch this:




DECEPTION COACHING helps you sharpen your senses to detect when someone is trying to trick you, deveive you, hide something from you or avoid responding to your requests.

Together we observe others as they are showing signals of deception. We record your expressions when you tend to send the same signals too and analyze them. You will soon become an expert at deception detection.

By paying attention to your own deceptive tendencies when communicating with others you will have greater awareness related to them. By paying attention to others, you can collect useful information that can be used during the further stages of the communication. You can ask more accurate and appropriate questions. You become a better coach, teacher or salesman.

When you feel you can detect deceptions well, we can say good-bye to each other. The coaching process is over.

Next time you may want to work on another topic so you can call me to work on the CONVERSATIONAL SIGNALS you can use during your interpersonal communication. This is the eighth field in my coaching portfolio (see above by clicking on the eighth picture).

To read more about the incongruent messages, you can go to the BLOG section.

To have more information about the coaching with me, you can go to the CONTACT section.

Key Features


Variables: Deception detection, hot spot, baseline, stress-based cues, anxiety, liars' dilemma, witholding evidence, convincing, unexpected questions, sentence complexity, phrase redundancy, word count, word choice, co-conspirator communication, culture

Examples: Catching liars, identifying questionable areas