TONES - What Your Voice Is Saying

Let us start with a short transaction. Listen to the conversation.

Mp3 source:

Assume that we do not understand what they are talking about and who they are. What messages are their sentences carrying? Just describe them with your own words.

How would you describe the two persons if you use categories like "power", "kindness", "dominance", "assertiveness", "warmth" or "friendliness"?

Now check this figure:

Why do you think the first man is speaking in a lower pitch and volume and the other man in a higher pitch and volume?

I think it is because the first man is openly seeking some information. He is inviting the other man to share his opinion. He is encouraging and sounds enthusiastic. What he needs is some data to take the next step. The other man sounds less open with the Critical Parent style. While he is sharing his opinion he is trying to show dominance by being louder.

Let us take another example.

Listen to this:

This figure represents a very similar pattern:

Let me give you one more example.

Close your eyes and concentrate on the "musical elements" of the conversation. Let it give an impact on you. How would you describe it? How would you visualize the transactions based on the Ego State model?

TONES COACHING aims to sharpen your awareness of the "musical elements" of the human interactions. You will become alert to the different features of the vocal tones.

Together we observe others as they are communicating. We record your communication too and analyze it. You will soon become an expert at evaluating these vocal characteristics of the human tones.

By paying attention to your own tones when communicating with others you will have greater influence on them. By paying attention to others, you can collect useful information that can be used during the further stages of the communication. You can ask more accurate and appropriate questions. You become a better listener.

When you feel you "have an ear" to this area we can say good-bye to each other. The coaching process is over.

Next time you may want to work on another topic so you can call me to work on the GESTURES you use when communicating with others. This is the fourth field in my coaching portfolio (see above by clicking on the third picture).

To read more about the incongruent messages, you can go to the BLOG section.

To have more information about the coaching with me, you can go to the CONTACT section.

Key Features


Variables: Pitch, Volume, Speed or Rate, Silence, Cadence or Rhytm of Voice, Inflection or Modulation, Interjections, Tremble, Sigh, Breathing

Examples: Public speaking, Active listening, Assertive communication, Showing empathy, Influencing