WORDS - The World of the Overt Messages

You can choose WORDS COACHING either as a single session (e.g. you want to analyze a speech, an email or a discussion in an ad hoc fashion) or as a full program (i.e. you want to have the coachig sessions to be fully focused on the words).

Let me give you a brief example here. You have issues with your new boss. He sends you emails, talks with you several times a day and he even goes to meetings with you. His verbal communication irritates you. Your goal is to understand why as well as what you can do to manage that.

During the coaching session you and I are focusing on the level of words.

You can invite me to the work environment where I can observe both you and your boss. If it isn't viable, you can bring email examples we can analyze. You can also bring recordings, notes or quotations. You might just want to talk about your relationship and the typical words and patterns of your communication. It all can work.

Note: anything you bring or we work on must be 100% ethically appropriate. This means that in my example you ask you boss' permission to record your conversation with your mp3 device and bring it to me to work with it. Or if you bring a printed out email extract, you have the permission from the proper person to share it for coaching purposes. I can work with you only if you have the clear persmission and if you intend to use the coaching for constructive aims (e.g. improving your relationship, understand the other person better to prepare more assertive answers and so on). I cannot work with you if you want to use your knowledge to take advantage of others.

So let us say that you have brought the short email extract below (with your boss' permission).

You tell me that you feel your boss is always telling you what to do and treats you like a child. You want to change it. Your goal is to arrive to an Adult-Adult communication. We have a coaching contract to achieve that by focusing on the level of words.

We spend some time to analyze the communication patterns between you and your boss and you come up with the following figure.

After discussing the words you used in your reply, we agree on some more constructive and assertive solutions you want to try in the future with your boss. This also helps the communication pattern to gravitate from the Parent-Child mode to the Adult-Adult one. You found the following words "powerless" in your reply: (1) sorry; (2) unfortunately; (3) I didn't and (4) I think I can.

You decide that you will ask for the information what you need (without saying "I am sorry"); you will focus on the facts (without adding any fillers like "unfortunately", "actually" or "basically"; you communicate what you need in order to get closer to the solution (instead of highlighting what did not happen in the past) and finally you will clearly state what you will and what you will not do based on your Adult evaluation (leaving phrases like "I think I can", "I will try", "Maybe I will be able to " or "I cannot promise but").

After a couple of days or weeks you and I are discussing the patterns again. You bring an example and visualize it in the following way.

You have achieved your goal. We can say good-bye to each other. The coaching process is over.

Next time you may want to work on another topic so you can call me to work on the INCONGRUITY you experience in your communication with your boss. This is the second field in my coaching portfolio (see above by clicking on the second picture).

To read more about the World of Words, you can go to the BLOG section.

To have more information about the coaching with me, you can go to the CONTACT section.

Key Features


Variables: Parent-Adult-Child features, passive, assertive, aggressive elements, positivity, redundancy and suggestive elements

Examples: Email, interview, speech, bad news, mentoring discussion