According to TA a Stroke can be defined as "one unit of recognition". When I say "Hello!" to you, I give you a stroke. Strokes can be positive or negative, verbal and non-verbal, conditional or unconditional. In this post I will write about positive verbal strokes and give you examples of words you can use in your everyday conversations to create more positive and constructive results.

Nonverbal Messages of Mobile Phone Related Behaviors

I like observing people around me. Today while having my lunch in a spacious canteen I saw people using their cell phones at their tables, as usual. Only a few of them were talking. Most of them seemed to be texting, chatting or browsing. It did not matter if they were sitting alone or with others. I decided to review some articles written about smart phone usage and nonverbal communication. Here is what I found.

Clusters of Vulnerability

There are nonverbal signs of happiness or fear, boredom or pain as well as love or hate. In this post I am having a closer look at the body language components of vulnerability. If you think of a person who is vulnerable, what picture comes to your mind? Can you see a child or an old person? Do you see a man or a woman? Is it in a hospital, in an office or in a street? What does "being vulnerable" mean to you? By the Merriam-Webster dictionary the definition of vulnerable is (1) capable of being physically or emotionally wounded; (2) open to attack or damage. My goal with this post is twofold. First, ...

Leading from Parent Ego State

Time after time my clients talk about the relationship with their boss. I hear lots of great examples but sometimes they tell me something like "She is like my mother" "He reminds me of my father when he is angry". In other words they feel bad, discounted or suppressed by their boss due to the transactions they experience.

Emotional Leader

According to dozens of studies there is strong evidence for the universal facial expressions of seven emotions - anger, contempt, disgust, fear, joy, sadness, and surprise. Some scientists call them as basic emotions.

Transactional Analysis of Gaslighting

In the light of the Mental Health Awareness Week (8th-14th May) , I intend to bring your attention to an alarming communication pattern you can experience at home, in the schools or in the office. I'll start with a brief story. Angela has worked for the company for six year. She applies for a new role. She gets it. She is part of a new team with some new faces.

Voice of the Leader

Are you satisfied with your voice? How do you know if your vocal behavior (a.k.a. vocalics) is appropriate in a given business context when speaking with your colleagues, business partners or important stakeholders? What do you need to focus on when you wish to improve your voice?

OK Compass

In this post, I will give you a tool you can use in any social interaction with others - even over the phone or video calls. I call it the "OK Compass" and it derives from Transactional Analysis. I developed it based on Franklin H. Ernst's OK Corral (or Life Positions) from 1971.

How good are you at spotting fake smiles? Actually fake smiles are very similar to genuine smiles. The facial expression we refer to as "the smile" is not a singular category of facial behavior.

Office Proxemics

Your personal space and territory, your behavior related to these areas and the influence of your behavior can be observed, analyzed and studied. It is called Proxemics. When we do it in the office, it can be called as Office Proxemics.

Behavioral Diagnosis of Ego States

What is Behavioral Diagnosis? You do it when you judge which Ego State a person is in by observing what the person is doing (i.e. their behavior). There are five areas you can see and hear: Words, Tones, Gestures, Postures and Facial Expressions.

You are What You Do, Not What You Say

Let me start with two definitions: INCONGRUITY and AMBIGUITY. Something is incongruous when it is not similar or congruent with something else. It is not matching or fitting. Something is ambiguous if it is open to multiple interpretations.

Drivers Speak

We all have Drivers, inner patterns or motivators that influence our thinking, feeling and behavior. They date back to our infancy and they represent the external voices of the significant others from our early life.

Faces of Death

My grandfather died last year. He was 88. He'd been dying for months before he passed away. When I visited him and I was standing next to him I felt like stepping into another dimension. He could not speak clearly and participate in the verbal interactions we visitors tried to maintain.

Six Powerful Questions for Leaders

Hundreds of verbal messages are exchanged in the corporate world daily. They are key in business. There are times when what we want to know cannot be expressed by words, at least not the best way.

Take A Seat

In this post I will combine some proxemics with some Transactional Analysis. The ten ideas I am sharing with you can be used with

Mobbing - What Leaders Must Know About It

In this post I will write about the four steps you can take as a leader when you have the perception that mobbing is happening in your organization. Step one is to

This short promotional video provides you with some examples why it is worth improving your nonverbal communication skills.

Multimodal Messaging Inventory

This short promotional video is about the three territories where the Multimodal Messaging Inventory can be used.